Need help with Parenting Skills?

If you’re like I was, and you don’t have great parenting skills, you might find yourself screaming at your learning abled kid. You might feel frustrated, stressed out, or at your wits end when trying to deal with your child’s behavior.

I *know* I did!!

So what did I do?  I worked to develop better parenting skills.

How can You Develop GOOD Parenting Skills?

Unfortunately, we are not born knowing how to parent our learning abled kids, and they don’t come with instruction manuals.  Our learning abled kids suffer enough with their own internal and educational frustrations. No parent needs to add to her child’s feelings of frustration or low self-esteem.

Nevertheless, there are a significant number of parenting frustrations with which we have to deal. This is particularly true once your child enters school and has homework to complete in the evening.

Learning to parent your learning abled kid effectively using good parenting skills improves your child’s experiences growing up and it will make your household a safe haven for your child. Not to mention, your child will be much happier if you’re a good parent. 😉

Learning good parenting skills could save your child’s heart, mind, and self-esteem, and help you have eternally great family relationships. Nothing was more worthwhile in my own understanding of my child’s needs than learning how to effectively parent my boys with good parenting skills.

Personally, I didn’t know how to parent well, whether my guys were learning abled kids or not! The parenting models I had were the old-fashioned yelling and screaming, spanking and no dinner approaches. If you use them, how well are those parenting skills working for you?

I didn’t spank or withhold food, but I did yell and scream, and that didn’t work well for me at ALL. I loathed myself for my yelling, for my lack of patience, and for feeling at my wits end not knowing what to do to motivate and inspire my young, energetic, but distracted boys.

SO, I began trying to develop BETTER parenting skills. My biggest questions were, “What are good parenting skills?” and “How do I develop them?” THANKFULLY, I became a much better parent and quit my screaming and yelling ways while my boys were still young (they don’t even remember–WHEW!).  We have great relationships with each other and for that, I am truly blessed among moms.

How I Developed Good Parenting Skills:

I began checking out various books about parenting from the library, including “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.”

Other great books I read or recommend include:

• “Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too,” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish,
• “Your Child’s Self-Esteem,” by Dorothy Briggs,
• “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic)” by Thomas W. Phelan PhD, and
• Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel,
• Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake,
• The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child’s Life by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN

Reading any one of these books will help you. As you know, reading more of these books will help you even more! Apply what you learn and that will shape you into an awesome parent for your Learning Abled Kid(s). I read many books when my boys were very young. I read more when my oldest started school, and I became a changed parent!

You can be a better parent in no time if you read these books and apply what you learn. I’m so thankful I did!  I hope telling on myself and sharing these books will help you cope better with your learning abled kid(s).  If you don’t have time to read any good parenting skills books right now, here are some quick tips to get you started:

Quick Tips on Good Parenting Skills

• Firstly, don’t scream and yell at your child. It’s demeaning and damages a child’s feeling of safety.
• Prevent siblings from calling each other belittling names.
• Never let siblings tease each other about disabilities ~ Teach them to value each others’ strengths.
• Don’t assume you know your child’s motivation levels (never accuse him of being lazy or not trying hard enough with his school work – he may have done his best, hardest work and what you see is what you got).
• Be as understanding as you possibly can (realize your child wants your understanding, love, and approval–always).
• Be generous with your praise, and reserved with your criticism.
• Always tackle problems together (“we’ll figure this out”) rather than expecting your child to come up with a solution (“you need to be more organized” ~ it may be true, but your child needs step-by-step teaching on how to be more organized, how to study, etc. ~ He won’t magically know these things).
• Be your child’s advocate in front of all others including extended family, your child’s friends, your friends, at your child’s school, and out in the community. Your child needs someone to stand up for him.
• Practice patience, regularly, painfully, in any way you can, and
• Most importantly, tell your child you love him frequently–no ifs or buts.. unconditionally.
• IF your child has ADHD, be SURE you understand how to deal with the impulsivity and defiance that often comes with ADHD as discussed in the article, Parenting ADHD Behaviors.

This is just a brief list of some basics. I’m sure I’ve left some important tips off. I know all of the above is more easily said than done. However, reading some good parenting skills books will help improve your parenting abilities!

HUGS!!! From one Learning Abled Kids’ momma to another, love yourself like I love ya. 😉 ~ And, if these tips help you, or you have other good parenting skills tips or resources to share, Please SHARE!