Need help with Parenting Skills?
Do you find your self screaming at your learning abled kid? Are you frequently frustrated, stressed out, or at your wits end?
I *know* I was there!!
So what did I do? I developed better parenting skills.
How Do You Develop GOOD Parenting Skills?
Unfortunately, we are not born knowing how to parent our learning abled kids, and they don’t come with instruction manuals. Our learning abled kids suffer enough with their own internal and educational frustrations, so no parent wants to add to her child’s feelings of frustration or low self-esteem.
Nevertheless, there are a significant number of parenting frustrations to be dealt with, particularly once your child enters school and has homework to complete in the evening.
Learning to parent your learning abled kid effectively using good parenting skills will go a long way in improving your child’s experiences growing up and it will make your household a safe haven for your child. Learning good parenting skills could save your child’s heart, mind, and self-esteem, and help you have eternally great family relationships. Nothing was more worthwhile in my own understanding of my child’s needs than learning how to effectively parent my boys with good parenting skills.
Personally, I didn’t know how to parent well, whether my guys were learning abled kids or not! The parenting models I had were the old-fashioned yelling and screaming, spanking and no dinner approaches. If you use them, how well are those parenting skills working for you?
I didn’t spank or withhold food, but I did yell and scream, and that didn’t work well for me at ALL. I found myself loathing myself for my yelling, for my lack of patience, and for feeling at my wits end not knowing what to do to motivate and inspire my young, energetic, but distracted boys.
I began looking for BETTER parenting skills. My biggest questions were, “What are good parenting skills?” and “How do I develop them?” THANKFULLY, I became a much better parent and quit my screaming and yelling ways while my boys were still young (they don’t even remember–WHEW!). We have great relationships with each other and for that, I am truly blessed among moms.
How I Developed Good Parenting Skills:
I began checking out various books about parenting from the library, including “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.”
Other great books I read include:
- “Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too,” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish,
- “Your Child’s Self-Esteem,” by Dorothy Briggs,
- “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic)” by Thomas W. Phelan PhD, and
- “Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility” by Jim Fay and Foster Cline, MD.
Reading any one of these books will help you. Reading all of these books and applying what you learn will shape you into an awesome parent for the sake of your Learning Abled Kid(s). I read them when my boys were very young, when my oldest was just starting school, and I became a changed parent!
You will be a better parent by the end of the month if you read these books and apply what you learn. I’m so thankful I did, and I hope telling on myself and sharing these books with you will help you cope well with your learning abled kid(s). If you don’t have time to read any good parenting skills books right now, here are some quick tips to get you started:
Quick Tips on Good Parenting Skills
- Don’t scream and yell at your child,
- Don’t let siblings call each other belittling names,
- Don’t let siblings tease each other about disabilities,
- Don’t assume you know your child’s motivation levels (never accuse him of being lazy or not trying hard enough with his school work – he may have done his best, hardest work and what you see is what you got),
- Be as understanding as you possibly can (realize your child wants your understanding, love, and approval–always);
- Be generous with your praise, and very reserved with your criticism,
- Always tackle problems together (“we’ll figure this out”) rather than expecting your child to come up with a solution (“you need to be more organized” ~ it may be true, but your child needs step-by-step teaching on how to be more organized, how to study, etc. ~ He won’t magically know these things).
- Be your child’s advocate in front of all others including extended family, your child’s friends, your friends, at your child’s school, and out in the community. Your child needs someone to stand up for him.
- Practice patience, regularly, painfully, in any way you can, and
- Tell your child you love him frequently–no ifs or buts.. unconditionally.
That’s just a brief list of some basics. I’m sure I’ve left some important tips off, and all of the above is more easily said than done, so reading some good parenting skills books will help improve your parenting abilities better than my list!
HUGS!!! From one Learning Abled Kids’ momma to another, love yourself like I love ya. 😉 ~ And, if these tips or the listed books help you, or you have other good parenting skills tips or resources to share, Please SHARE! Check out the comment section below to see what others have to share! We can all use all of the help we can get.